Two

Stupid day. Draining. Went back to Arkham to see the doctor. Wrote me a new prescription and discontinued another. Same old song and dance.

Migraines are the theme for today. They never let up. Easily the worst day yet. Do I relay that to my loved ones? No. They're worried and stressed out enough. I just give them a generic 7 on the pain scale and call it a day.

Our oldest son decided to mouth off and refused to listen to my wife. I was in the bathroom listening to it all. Wife said she was too tired to deal with it, so I informed him that there would be no electronics of any kind for him tomorrow due to his actions. I let the wife know what I told him. She looked like I had done something to inconvenience her. I guess my role as a disciplinarian is over just like every other role I once held in this house.

It's cold outside. Hooray.

One

I'm thinking that if I write this all down, someone may stumble across it and may be able to get insight as to what my brain is doing. I have no plans to end my life at the moment, but my mind changes swiftly. I suppose in many ways I'm dead already.

I have severe depression, anxiety, panic disorder, and now migraines. I've never dealt with any of this before. I'm 35. It came out of nowhere. I can't work. I can't be a husband. I can't be a father. I use "can't" to imply that I have no choice. It's final.

These posts will be disjointed at the very least.

Still breathing today.